When Demigods Get Drunk And Have Bad Ideas
by Tabz9090
Summary: I just feel sorry for the tree.
1. In Which Bad Things Happen

"So, we're all agreed – no twerking."

Murmurs of affirmation circled around the group as Annabeth stood regally, eyes blazing with the kind of fire that must have burnt in the hearts of the great heroes of age; Ulysses himself wouldn't dare oppose the young demigod. A small gathering of 16 year old warriors huddled close to the warmth of the cosy campfire in the darkening twilight of a summer's day. Artemis seemed to smile down on them, and shone the moonlight to illuminate their teenage shenanigans – the tranquillity of the evening was so sweet, so soft and so _boring _that the demigods naturally sought something, _anything_ to do. Of course, everyone turned to Percy (the unelected leader of the group), who then turned to Annabeth (the unelected leader of Percy), who then suggested reading up on architecture. A dense silence followed this suggestion, involving no eye contact whatsoever. Everyone became suddenly captivated with their shoes and shuffled their feet, while Annabeth scowled; there was no reason she could think of that meant people wouldn't want to read for 7 hours in a slightly mouldy library. Eventually, Connor and Travis came to the rescue with a mischievous glint in their eyes: "Anyone up for a game of truth and dare?"

They had then assembled like small avengers around the crackling hearth, smiles playing on their lips. Before anyone could say anything, however, Annabeth laid down the rules, which were as follows:

No murder attempts,

No Satanism,

No frying pans (not again),

No High School Musical re-enactments,

No alcohol for Malcolm,

No attempts to seduce Thalia's tree,

No inhaling chilli powder,

No inviting Dionysus to join,

No daring Dionysus to climb a tree,

No calling Chiron to help get Dionysus out of the tree,

No calling Zeus to help get Dionysus and Chiron out of the tree,

And, finally:

No twerking.

She gazed around the group fiercely, letting everyone know that if any of the rules were broken there _will_ be blood. Katie swore under her breath – it looked like her plan for the twins would have to wait. "OKAY. NOW THAT WE KNOW ALL THE RULES, HOW ABOUT WE ACTUALLY PLAY?" someone cried. Confused heads swivelled around, looking for the source, until they glanced down and their gaze settled on Michael Yew.

"Michael, why…why are you shouting?"

"IT MAKES UP FOR MY INFERIOR HEIGHT AND CRIPPLING SELF-ESTEEM ISSUES."

"Oh." Silena blinked, and then went back to fixing her hair. A long moment passed. "Um, anyway, Percy…truth or dare?" Travis' unsteady voice asked. Percy swished his ebony hair out of his eyes and did his best to look hot because Annabeth was looking at him and she was so pretty tonight just look at her hair and it's curliness and oh my gods her eyes were just –

"Percy."

"Hm? Oh, right. Dare, I guess."

Travis glanced around himself for inspiration, his mind racing with all the things he could now force Percy to do. There was no way Percy could refuse; those were just the rules of adolescence. You respect the code of truth and dare. He paused, deep in thought, until he dramatically opened his mouth with the best possible dare he could muster – before he could say anything, however, Grover jumped up far too enthusiastically and yelled "I dare you to make out with that _TREE!_" pointing excitedly at what turned out, in fact, to be a tree. Travis was speechless. For once. Connor elbowed Grover in the ribs "but it's Annabeth's job to make out with Percy!" the Stoll brother theatrically cried, making everyone except Nico snicker. At least, they did until Annabeth drew her dagger.

Percy, meanwhile, just sighed. He stared at the tree. The tree stared at him. He was going to have to make out with the tree. Nico secretly envied the tree. That poor tree never knew what hit it.


	2. In Which Percy Really Regrets Existing

Sauntering up to the tree, which we shall call Jeff, Percy desperately tried to seem suave and confident. He wasn't fooling anyone. His false bravado masked the sheer humiliation of having to seduce Jeff thanks to Mr. Goat Face, whom he promised to get revenge on. Percy reached Jeff. Everyone was watching. _Annabeth_ was watching. Zeus was probably watching (they didn't have TV in Olympus). The saviour of Olympus sighed, and, taking the tree's limbs in his arms, he passionately made out with Jeff. Picturing Annabeth's face really helped, though he'd never admit it, especially with the roars of laughter that rolled off the group, sudden and piercing in the quiet dusk.

"Yeah, it's just has she never heard of tweezers? She doesn't need to go around hypnotising people with her furry forehead and it's not like- oh hang on, Stacy, I'm gonna have to call you back." The dryad hung up her phone with an exasperated sigh. Hefting her baseball bat she kept for special occasions and unwilling victims, she went to investigate the obnoxiously loud teens in what sounded suspiciously like _her_ clearing. As she walked she whistled a tune, the bat swung over her shoulder casually like "oh, don't mind me, I'm just on a walk with a slightly homicidal look in my eyes" until she reached the clearing. Her tune trailed off. A palpable tension hung in the air as she looked at the boy who was making out with her tree. Confused, he looked up. Their eyes met. Nobody moved for what seemed like forever. Then, raising her baseball bat high above her head she shrieked "that's…my…_TREE_!" and, with a war cry that would make Ares tremble she charged like an enraged bull. Percy was a deer in the lights of an oncoming bus, completely frozen to the spot.

If you've never seen an angry dryad screaming and waving a baseball bat while sprinting towards you, you better hope it stays that way, because it's not a pretty sight. The look of sheer murder in her eyes paralyzed the boy who had fought gods, and though he willed his limbs to obey him he was as still as the tree he had been making out with less than two minutes ago. The dryad was bearing down on him, swifter than any Olympic athlete. Time stood still around him, and the only thing that was real was her and him. If this was a movie, it'd be doing one of those dramatic zoom ins. Percy was Simba with the wildebeest almost upon him, and there didn't seem like there was a Mufasa to save him. Less than a couple of meters away, now. Screwing his eyes shut, the demigod prepared for certain death. "HYAAAAGH!" came a battle cry, but not from the dryad. Annabeth roundhouse kicked her in the face, and she flew back before hitting a tree and crumpling to the ground. She didn't move again.

Annabeth casually wandered over to the unfortunate receiver of her ninja attack and kicked her in the ribs for good measure. "You okay?" she asked, eyes full of concern for Percy. He blinked and nodded slowly, still quite thoroughly traumatised. Nobody in the group dared make a comment about Percy being a damsel in distress, in case Annabeth wasn't quite done with her roundhouse kicks. "Is she…?" Katie gulped, unable to form the next word. Her eyes full of fear; she averted her gaze from Athena's daughter and to the unmoving dryad. "…Dead? Who cares?" Nico grinned, and laughed a long, drawn-out, very creepy giggle. "Nico, truth or dare?" Silena then asked to avoid the terrified stares Nico was now receiving from the gathered demigods. Deciding against dare to try and avoid another Jeff incident, he narrowed his eyes "truth" was his suspicious reply.

"What is your deepest, darkest secret?"

Nico exhaled sharply. Maybe he should have picked truth after all.


	3. In Which The Terrible Secret Is Revealed

Nico didn't feel capable of forming a sentence. They all stared at him expectantly. What was he supposed to say? There was no way he could tell them. Oh gods, Percy was _right there_. What would he think? What would they all think? Fear was rising like bile in Nico's throat, the dark demigod glancing fearfully around himself like a startled bunny rabbit under a lawnmower. People were starting to call his name, but he couldn't focus. He was hyperventilating. He had needed to confess to someone for a long time, the burden of his secret weighing down on his shoulders – he was Atlas, holding up what felt like the sky. But he couldn't tell them – not like this, not to them. He wasn't strong or brave like Percy…Percy, his hero, his saviour, his oblivion. Percy, who would laugh like the others. They wouldn't be able to accept it, to accept Nico. Yet he couldn't _lie_, either. You respect the code of Truth or Dare, dude. Nico was torn.

"I…I don't know how to say this" He stammered, meeting Percy's eyes, begging for reassurance. Percy smiled down at him, letting him know it was okay.

"It's okay, Nico. We won't judge you."

"This is hard for me to admit…I don't want anything to be weird between us, or anything"

Nico sniffed, steeling his nerves - if there was anyone he could trust, it was them.

"I…I'm…" His voice cracked, failing him. He licked his lips nervously, then took a deep breath.

"I'm a really big fan of Justin Bieber."

Nobody said anything. Everyone was too shocked. Nico looked desperately to Percy, who diverted his gaze. The son of Hades wished they would say something – even laughter was better than _this._ But they weren't laughing. They just turned their eyes towards him, eyes full of pity and mourning. Nico stared at the floor, wishing it would just swallow him, as tears of shame rolled silently down his face.

"Dude, I thought you were just gay." Connor said to break the cursed silence. Nico's head snapped up, eyes flashing. Dammit! He must have found his journal and his list of top ten hottest celebrities! Nico hated the idea that Connor knew that Harry Styles was his number one. He would have to kill him at some point. "But this? Say it ain't true, man. Not a belieber, please."

"I can't hide who I am anymore."

The atmosphere felt like that of a funeral. The kind of funeral where a guy they all really liked had accidently electrocuted himself to death with a pair of pliers, a stray cat and a rouge lightning bolt. In a way, it was a funeral, Nico realised. His funeral. He bowed his head. "I'm gonna go, now." Nobody objected as he started the walk of shame into the forest. Moments later he disappeared in the gloom. Then he reappeared; "forgot my eyeliner" was his explanation. He then recommenced the walk of shame back into the forest, putting on mascara as he went. Waiting a moment, to make sure no-one was about to wander back into the clearing again, Percy frowned. "Where did he go? That path just leads to Chiron's dressing room." Sure enough, moments later, there came a high pitched scream. Percy didn't know if it was Chiron or Nico. He didn't _want_ to know.

"Maybe we shouldn't play truth or dare anymore" Annabeth conceded. It hadn't exactly worked out so far, and the dryad still wasn't moving. "NO. YOU ARE WEAK. NO EXCUSES. NO MERCY." Michael shouted from the ground, drawing his bow. "TRUTH, DARE OR DEATH. THOSE ARE THE CHOICES, DAUGHTER OF ATHENA."

Annabeth knew exactly what they'd ask if she picked truth; she snuck a glance at Percy from the corner of her eye. "Dare." Came her sullen voice, however, when Silena squealed triumphantly death suddenly sounded like a fun option. It got worse when Silena started chanting.

"MAKE OVER. MAKE OVER."

Aphrodite kids from around the camp reared their heads at this call, dropping whatever they were doing. Climbing out of bed, dropping their food, leaving bodies half-buried, they all gathered around the campfire. Picking up the chant, with ethereal voices, they advanced on Annabeth. She backed up as far as she could go, found herself against a tree, and in desperation brandished her knife. No matter how many Aphrodite kids she killed, more took their place. Bodies littered the ground, yet they took no notice except to clamber over them. They eventually managed to swarm over her, picking her up and holding her above their shoulders. Annabeth was screaming, but the sound was drowned out by the chanting of "MAKE OVER. MAKE OVER. MAKE OVER."

Malcolm watched in horror as his sister was carried off atop the shoulders of the demigods, towards the Aphrodite cabin in the distance. Soon all that was left was the ritualistic chant that carried over the hills and summoned yet more of the swarm. The door of the cabin slammed shut behind Annabeth. All was silent.


	4. In Which Annabeth Is A Prisoner Of War

Percy blinked.

He had no idea what just transpired, only that Annabeth was now a prisoner of war and had just killed roughly 39 teenagers in less than two minutes. It was a new record and everything. Nico, who had lain sobbing after being both rejected and traumatised, had ventured back to see what the chanting was and whether he could join in. He had tried and failed to contain his grin, but whether it was about all the death or the fact that Percy's one love may have just disappeared forever, nobody had any idea.

"Well, looks like the only person you ever really loved is dead now. I guess that just means there's a vacancy," he said with a very drawn-out laugh "heh hehhh heeh hehh".

"WE'RE GONNA LEAVE HER TO HER FATE NOW, RIGHT?" Shouted the vertically challenged Michael, who had a voice that more than made up for it.

"Dude, no, we're gonna save her. We're heroes and stuff." Was Percy's unsure reply. A loud scream pierced the silence – undoubtedly Annabeth's – and Percy winced. He moved towards the cabin anyway, his loyal followers behind him, like an unenthusiastic Jesus. They traversed the small hills dramatically, marched across plains, hiked through forests and generally acted like it was a montage from Lord Of The Rings. The fact that the cabin was, like, 30 meters away from them kind of ruined the effect. When they arrived, Percy made a series of rapid hand movements. Everyone just stared at him while he appeared to do some form of the Macarena. Rolling his eyes, Percy told them to "sit down and shut the hell up" causing the others to nod aggressively and sit down like puppies before their master. The perks of being a son of Poseidon.

Ducking down below the window, he exhaled. They almost saw him. Percy risked another glance and gasped at what he saw – the window was a doorway to another world. Everywhere he looked, clothes were neatly folded, beds were made, and everything was so excessively _tidy_ that it burnt his teenage eyes to look. Or maybe that was the tear gas level hairspray they were using on Annabeth. She was strapped to what looked like an altar, symbols painted around it in, oh god, _blood?_ Wait, no, lipstick. They had managed to confiscate her knife, but not before she got to use it. A lot, by the looks of it.

"Prepare the eyeliner!" a voice cried, and Percy swept his eyes around in an effort to find the speaker. She stood, in her special make-over robes, a high priestess in this temple of pain. Silena, holding a can of deodorant like a sceptre, was advancing towards Annabeth. To think, that Percy had _trusted_ her.

There was one thing for it, he decided. He was going to stand up tall, look Silena in the eye – no matter how scared he got – and run away. Yeah, that was a good plan, Percy smiled to himself. He stood up, however, his legs were weak and would barely support him. Must be because of all the perfume, he decided.

As he stood, a wave of nausea from the hairspray drifting through the window hit him like a punch to the face. He toppled, crashed elegantly through the window, and all eyes darted and locked onto his face. He slowly got to his knees, looking up into the eyes of Annabeth. Taking his feet dramatically, he turned to the window – his escape. Several of the Aphrodite kids screamed in pure rage and charged him, faster than any demigod should. Percy's legs seemed to be moving in slow motion, disobeying him stubbornly. The _things _sprinting at their prey dived, flying through the air exactlythe way a brick wouldn't. The son of Poseidon stubbed his toe on a cabinet, and collapsed. Too late, the things jumping at him shrieked, full-on colliding in mid-air. They dropped to the floor beside him, and Percy (once he had finished hopping around clasping his toe) drew his sword. Surveying the room with a cool confidence, he smirked.

"Come on then, I wouldn't want to get bored."


End file.
